The Boris Effect

Day two of the Conservative party conference has been workmanlike but dull. The 'highlight' was a speech by Shadow Chancellor George Osborne, in which he warmed Tory hearts by saying he wants tax cuts, but not sure when it will be economically viable.

The "row" over tax at this conference has mostly involved old dinosaurs like Norman Tebbit saying the party should promise tax cuts. Everyone else points out that just offering cuts didn't work in 1997, 2001 and 2005, that its nonsense to offer tax relief three years away from an election. As Osborne put it, a Shadow Chancellor cannot deliver tax cuts, only a Chancellor can. Win the election first.

Tebbit should be shut up and discouraged from pouring his bile into the ears of activists. The problem is that he is hugely popular with party members. As is the only man to make Tuesday interesting, Boris Johnson.

Boris got into a bit of hot water at a fringe meeting by having a pop at St Jamie of Oliver.

"I say let people eat what they like. Why shouldn't they push pies through the railings?," he told a meeting, and the media, smelling an actual story from this conference, went mad for it. Boris had to hide in the press office.

But it is other comments that Boris made about the West Lothian question that provide more insight into the party's thinking about Gordon Brown.

In the conference hall the debate was all about fairness and making sure that English people are properly represented, and to stop Scottish MPs voting on matters that only affect England. This is a bit of a winner for the Tories, but Boris laid it all out on the table:

"I have no wish to be disrespectful to the Scots. But it is outrageous that I as an English MP can be outvoted on issues such as Oxfordshire's NHS without corresponding powers the other way.

"The Scots should not get free university education subsidised by us in England. They shouldn't get free nursing care.

"As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister."

As you can see, if the Tories fail to make inroads into Scotland and Wales, they will turn on them and demand a reduction in the amount of subsidy the regions receive from England.

As Boris demonstrates, what starts as a reasonable argument about ensuring English MPs vote on English matters very suddenly leads to a situation where the UK itself is under threat.

It is interesting that the Tories never refer to their 18-year rule over Scotland, where they imposed what they liked in a manner that Edward Longshanks would have been proud. It was their contemptous misrule of Scotland that led directly to demands for the formation of a Scottish parliament.

They claim to be the party of the Union, but then they used to claim to be the party of tax cuts. The Tories could end up causing more division between England and Scotland. If Cameron fails to secure significant gains in the elections for the Scottish parliament elections next year, the Tories are in danger of becoming an English nationalist party.

Tories off to a good start!

The Tories have had a successful first full day at their conference in Bournemouth.

The much-mocked "hot topic debates" have proved to be a substantial addition to the conference. Yesterday's heated debate concerned cheap flights, and there were several outstanding contributions from the floor, with the majority of speakers under 40.

Another smart move has been to invite good speakers who are not Conservatives to address conference on some of the key issues.

Yesterday we had Shami Chakrabati from Liberty getting warm applause for calling Home Secretary John Reid a control freak.

Stephen Bayley made an impassioned address on the need for social responsibility in air travel, pointing to the experience of drink-driving, that social stigma is a stronger factor than taxation or legislation in changing behaviour.

The keynote speech was from David Davis, and he gave a crowd-pleasing turn, with the best joke so far: "The papers claim David Cameron wants us to hug a hoodie. Well I support that. The only difference between David and me is that I might just hug a little harder. And a little longer."

The debate on the environment saw a polished performance for Ecology totty Zac Goldsmith, and started tongues wagging that he might be tempted into standing as a new 'green conservative' at the next election.

It was not all good news - a screw-up with security has left hundreds of delegates stranded outside the conference as the local Plods try to process their pass applications. Some party activists have been waiting for two days. The local police blame Conservative Central Office for not submitting the paperwork in good time. CCO are implicitly saying that the police are to blame. Whatever. Still makes the party look like they can't organise a party conference in Bournemouth, which is even easier than a piss-up in a brewery.

Then little Georgie Osborne seems to be in a bit of bother over some throwaway remarks he made at a fringe meeting. It seems calling someone 'a bit autistic' is causing deep offence among the charitarati, with yet more unrepresentative voluntary organisations bleating about how Osborne was as much as using the word spastic.

Perhaps if the Shadow Chancellor had anything meaningful to say about the economy, the press would be less interested in this trivial story.

Cameron blasts homophobes

Conservative leader David Cameron has strongly attacked record companies profiting from homophobia.

In his first speech to his party's autumn party conference as leader, Mr Cameron set out his vision for a Britain free from state interference. He called on citizens to take responsibility from central government, saying "state responsibility has failed."

He listed a catalogue of failures by the Blair government, but some of his strongest criticism was reserved for record companies who promote 'death music' artists such as Buju Banton and Beenie Man.

"Record companies that profit from violent and homophobic lyrics are ... morally wrong and socially unacceptable" he told delegates, to warm applause.

Gay rights activists have campaigned against the homophobic lyrics of 'death music' artists, many of whom advocate the execution of gay men and lesbians.

Although Mr Cameron was vocal in his criticism of record companies, he did not offer any solutions to preventing homophobic music from being sold or distributed.

The Conservatives have been criticised, after a spokesman admitted that there would not be any new policies unveiled at the conference, which is being held in Bournemouth.

Mr Cameron did tell delegates that he would oppose ID cards, and said that the conference would be an opportunity to form an idea of what sort of Britain the Conservatives want to see.

Conservative conference - what happens when?

Why do party conferences start on Sundays now? Its crap.

William Hague is currently charming the party faithful.

"David Cameron is already an outstanding leader who deserves the loyalty of us all," apparently. Now the Tories are talking the language of de-centralisation.

As they couldn't get Bill Clinton, the Tories have got Senator John McCain, who they imagine might become the next President. Not likely, in my view. It should be a good speech anyway.

Nicholas Sarkozy, the diminutive French interior minister, who is tipped to succeed Chirac as President of France, will also address the conference.

Sen McCain will be followed this afternoon by the leader. Cameron has already rejected any talk of promising tax cuts in a series of pre-conference interviews. He will address the party for about 30 minutes, and will speak to delegates again on Wednesday afternoon.

The focus of this conference is, er, well not very much. "An overall vision for Britain" is what Hague said. Whatever that is.

As the party are short of any policies, there will be a series of "Hot Topic Debates" on nebulous issues such as advertising aimed at children. They have snappy titles like "cheap flights are a false economy" and show just how little the party have to really talk about.

The party have also invited a range of speakers to address the conference, among them lesbian novelist Jeanette Winterson, the Miami Chief of Police and some bird off Dragons Den.

Tomorrow conference will debate public services, crime, the environment and 'social action.' Ecology totty Zac Goldsmith will be making an appearance, so at least there will be someone pretty to look at. Other highlights include Camilla Batmanghelidjh, founder of charity Kids Club, and Shami Chakrabati from human rights group Liberty.

Tuesday's "hot topic" mini-conversation ("alcohol does more harm than drugs") is followed by debate on social justice, the economy, foreign affairs and international security. There will also be a debate about devolution, where no doubt the party will complain about the imbalance in the current constitutional settlement. There are no obvious highlights on Tuesday.

Thirty minutes on Wednesday morning will be given over to debate the creative industries, followed yet another heated debate, "global companies are a force for good." It is not clear if that is a question or a statement.

There will be a "conference choice" of topic, followed in the afternoon by debate on global poverty and social action (again). No matter what they pick, it seems Boris Johnson will be speaking, which is always a highlight.

David Cameron will close the conference with a speech, which is pencilled in as an hour long. Apparently he was transfixed by Blair's star performance last week.

DC will need to be at the top of his game to beat that.

Conference Round Up

Didn't have time to watch the Labour party conference? Here is a short blagger's guide to the week in Manchester.

The whole conference was dominated by the leadership issue. Tony was forced into admitting that this will be his last conference as party leader earlier this month. Gay MP Chris Bryant was a leading conspirator, which is odd as he is top mates with Cherie. Anyway as everyone knew it was Tony's last turn, it meant this conference was an opportunity for all those people who think they should be in charge to show off.

The week started with a very good speech by Gordon Brown, which was totally a bid for the leadership. Pretty much everyone knows that Big Gordon is going to succeed, but the talk is of a Blairite cabinet minister to challenge him. Activists want this for two reasons - some think it is vital that Labour have a proper contest and not a coronation. This also means the party gets to properly debate its future policy and direction.

Others think Gordon is a grumpy old Scottish accountant that the voters don't like. Anyway. Good speech by Gordon. Immediately over-shadowed by the story that Cherie had an outburst during the speech calling Gordon a liar.

To make matters worse, Peter Mandelson, the Merlin to Blair's King Arthur, vomited all over Gordon as well by saying that he is, well, a bit grumpy and Scottish and the voters won't love him like they love Tony.

Then, to make matters even worse, Tony got up and made just about the best speech of his life, saying all sorts of odd things like "I love this party" and getting everyone all emotional. Tessa Jowell, proving what a total poppet she is, brought a box of Kleenex in with her and the whole box got used. It was that good.

Tony spoke about his two quite-dishy sons, Euan and Nicholas, and the boys got lots of close-ups, so we can expect to see one or both of them turn up on reality TV very soon. And possibly in parliament.

So everyone said 'Isn't Tony wonderful?' and then Bill Clinton turned up. Bill said Tony was like the best PM ever and that Labour should be thanking God for letting him be their leader.

Then Bill said that Gordon was stunning, well his vision for Britain is at any rate. Then Bill like totally flirted with the whole conference at once and they LOVED IT! He charmed the pants off the entire room, and luckily everyone forgot about how great Tony's speech was AND how great Gordon's speech was.

Bob Geldof turned up but stupidly forgot to bring teen-of-the-moment, his daughter Peaches. So Bob on his own really was no match for Bill Clinton and no-one paid much attention to the Irish moaner.

Anyway, so basically every cabinet minister, apart from John 'taxi for Prescott' Prescott, got a chance to show off how totally wonderful they are and hopefully put them in the running for the job of leader or deputy.

Early money was on Alan Johnson, the urbane former postman and now education secretary, as the stop Gordon! candidate. But his speech was a bit rubbish.

John Reid, the man who plays the role of Home Secretary as if he has confused it with a gangster off Taggart, made a much better speech. So now everyone is talking about him as the stop Gordon! candidate. He might do ok.

The thing to remember is no-one can beat Gordon. The leader of the Labour party is elected by an electoral college with three constituent parts. The unions, the MPs and MEPs and the Constituency Labour Parties all have an equal vote. Millions of people will take part in the election. They are all going to vote for Gordon. The unions aren't going to vote for a Blairite candidate. They want Gordon. The Constituency Labour Parties want Gordon.

So all this smart talk about stopping Gordon is all just nonsense. All they will achieve is to weaken him, he will be walking into Downing St no matter what they say or do.

Even though Tony Blair refuses to say who he will back, and might be a total total bastard and back someone else against Gordon, the Chancellor will still win. Anytime anyone tries to tell you different, show off about how you know all about the electoral college system. Then call them thick.

In the conference week Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett, Deputy PM John Prescott and future leader and Blair pin-up boy David Miliband all said publicly that they are backing Gordon.

At the end of the conference, John Prescott made his traditional shouting speech to conference. This year he started by saying sorry for letting the party and himself down. He did not apologise for banging his diary secretary. Or even for getting caught. Or for cheating on his scary-looking wife. But for causing embarassment to the Labour party.

Anyway he had a good shout about the Tories and everyone went home happy. The latest talk is about who will take his job when Blair goes. The field has been narrowed down to everyone in the cabinet. And now a left-wing backbench MP has announced he will run.

If you are planning to bet, put your money on Harriet Harman or Jack Straw.

Oh and at the very very end of conference, they sang The Red Flag and Jerusalem and Cherie belted them out like a secretary in a karaoke winebar with ten Baileys inside her! Well done! No matter who leads the Labour party next, I doubt we will get as much entertainment or value for money as we get from Cherie.

Contrite Prescott and singing Cherie end conference

The Labour party conference has closed with a series of singing extravaganzas from Cherie Blair.

John Prescott made his last speech as deputy leader, in which he lifted the spirits of delegates with a robust defence of his time in office and of Tony Blair.

Prescott began with an apology. "Tony started his speech by saying thank you. I want to start by saying sorry. I let myself down and I let you down."

His wife Pauline sat in the front row beside Cherie Blair, and it cannot have been an easy moment for this very shy woman to have BBC cameras in her face while her husband apologised for his all-too public affair.

Prescott recalled his first job as a commis chef (you know what joke he told here) and said that British chefs these days, such as Jamie Oliver, were among the best in the world. Referring to his own frame, he claimed "some people even say I am fat for purpose."

The speech was vintage Prescott, and considerably less mystifying than usual. Conference speaking seems to suit the Deputy PM much better than the House of Commons, and he delighted delegates with a series of attacks on David Cameron.

"We do not have the luxury of three years until the next election. It is seven months until the next election, in Scotland, Wales and in local government ... 36 million people will make a decision about Labour in the next seven months."

He called for unity during the leadership campaign, and urged party members to "remember the real enemies are the Tories, the Liberals and the nationalists."

Although he did not explicitly say it was his last speech, it is almost certain that Prescott will leave with Tony Blair.

"I will be swapping my government Jag for this bus pass to campaign for Labour ... I suppose they will call me two buses."

It was a warm, positive speech, and as conference rose to their feet, and Pauline joined her husband on stage, "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen seared through the PA system.

What? Who is picking the music at this conference? Capital Gold?

It got more surreal. In the old days, at the close of Labour conference delegates, or comrades as they were then known, used to sing socialist anthem The Red Flag with all the aplomb of a rugby club on a pub crawl.

This was deemed not new Labour enough, and dropped completely. Since 2003 a verse of the old song was sung, followed by all of Jerusalem, by William Blake, which is a hymn that asks us to imagine that Jesus came to England when he was on earth, and found it more green and pleasant than the Middle East.

Added to these two incongruous singalongs, the organisers had added a youth choir and a flame-haired diva, whose microphone malfunctioned during The Red Flag, but mysteriously worked again during the English nationalist hymn.

Cherie Blair sang her head off throughout everything, as did her husband and the Chancellor. Gordon Brown was all smiles, especially during Jerusalem, while both Prescotts resolutely refused to sing a note. It was good to see that Tony Blair actually knows the words to The Red Flag, and did not do a John Redwood and attempt to mime.

The truly surreal moment came before The Red Flag, when the youth choir followed Mr Prescott's speech with a spirited rendition of Oklahoma!

Prezza did not look amused, as every journalist in the room had visions of Prescott in cowboy gear, down on the ranch, chewing tobacco on the front porch with casino billionaire Philip Anschutz.

Cherie loved it - she knows every word of Oklahoma! too, and isn't afraid to show it. I can't see Sarah Brown or Carine Adler, John Reid's Brazilian film director wife, enjoying themselves this much at future party conferences.

Reid vs Johnson

John Reid has made a wide-ranging address to conference, setting out his stall as an alternative leader to Gordon Brown.


He made an impassioned defence of the government's terrorism policy, and appealed to Muslims, men and women, to tackle extremism in their community. He pledged to stand shoulder to shoulder with Muslims against those who attempt to shout down the voices of reason.


"If we in this movement are going to ask the decent, silent majority of Muslim men - and women - to have the encourage to face down the extremist bullies, then we need to have the courage and character to stand shoulder to shoulder with them doing it.


"We will go where we please, we will discuss what we like," he said. Last week Mr Reid was heckled by Muslims when he spoke at an Islamic centre in east London.

Earlier in the week, Tony Blair said that Reid's new national security legislation to be introduced during the next session of parliament will be one of the most important policy initiatives of recent years.


Commmentators have focused on the theme of leadership running through the Home Secretary's conference speech. Reid is seen as one of the favourites to stand against Gordon Brown for the leadership of the party.


If Reid was appealing to the head, the yesterday's speech by Education Secretary Alan Johnson appealed to the party's heart.


The former trade union boss is seen as another favourite of the stop Gordon campaign, and in his address to delegates he played heavily on the importance of education to the Labour movement.


He paid tribute to the efforts of unions to improve basic skills in literacy and numeracy amongst the workforce, with over a million adults receiving help. He described this skills gap as the legacy of 18 years of Tory neglect of education, and went on to list the achievements of Labour in government.


In a policy announcement that received strong applause from the delegates, he acknowledged that the education system has systematically failed children in care.


As conference closes, it seems that John Reid and Alan Johnson have emerged as the favourites to take on Gordon Brown for the leadership.