The first PMQ of Tony Blair's last session was a stilted affair. David Cameron used all of his supplementaries on the growing crisis in Sudan, perhaps determined to appear statesmanlike after the prime minister's effective attacks on his gravitas during the Queens Speech debate earlier in the week.The result was a distinct lack of Punch and Judy. In fact it was more like Richard and Judy - lots of meaningless exchanges which brought about no real enlightenment. The atmosphere was lethargic, as MPs listened silently as the party leaders dumped platitude on top of cliche.
Cameron's line of questioning had some potential at the start. After praising the bravery of our boys in Afghanistan, he wanted to know why there were not more NATO troops there from other countries, and asked if British troops needed more helicopters.
Mr Blair replied in a liminal fashion. Our troops are in good heart. Reconstruction and development. The US and Canada have also lost troops. Working together. Credibility of NATO. Doing everythin we can.
Instead of attacking, Cameron switched to Darfur. There were a series of exchanges, the conclusion of which was that the crisis had to be solved by the Sudanese, with help from the African Union. Cameron asked the PM to ensure the Sudanese govenement would stick to t agreement, as if it was in his power.
Mr Blair responded he would do everything he can. He also heaped praise on international development secretary and Blairite deputy leadership contender Hilary Benn.
Cameron failed to make any impact by asking about a subject that Mr Blair has no direct control or influence over. It may have been statesmanlike, but it was dull and a waste of time.
Thank God for Ming. In what is becoming his trademark, the LibDem leader picked up on a small but significant news story, and successfully got stonewalled by the PM.
Will legislation concerning the renewal of Trident is to be published before the end of the year, Ming asked. Yes, was the response.
Seems innocuous enough. But wait - will the House of Commons (by which he actually means left=leaning Labour MPs) get to vote on a series of options and not just the principle of renewing the nuclear capability?
Ming was rewarded with a non-denial denial. The House would certainly get a vote, the PM said. He also reiterated his support for renewal.
Ming used his two questions to maximum effect, exposing a rift in the Labour party potentially as divisive as 90 day detention was at the start of the last session.
There were few moments of levity during the PMs appearance at the dispatch box.
London Tory MP Derek Conway, a rotund ball of moral outrage, caused a few titters by raising the soaring costs of the 2012 Olympics, and what he termed the "drunken sailor spending attitude of Ken Livingstone."
There were the usual Tory questions about the NHS (consultants are being sacked in my constituency - oh no they are not - oh yes they are - record investment in the NHS - police are being sacked in Wales - on no they are not - record investment in police - repeat ad nauseam)
Finally, the veteran of PMQ and two-time leader of the SNP, Alex Salmond, managed to get under the PMs thick skin. His verbal hand grenade of a question was a masterful example to Cameron and others in how to insult, insinuate and belittle, while all the time appearing to have a query:
"Will the Prime Minister undertake to stay out of the clutches of the Metropolitan police until the end of the week, because we are looking forward enormously to his visit to the Scottish Labour conference on Friday? Is he aware that every time he attacks the SNP, support for Scottish independence soars to new, unprecedented levels? Will he promise to launch another furious assault on us this coming Friday?"
Blair got angry for the second time this week, and his own MPs loved it:
"Yes, I will and I shall tell the hon. Gentleman why. It is because by ripping Scotland out of the UK we would damage the economy, living standards, health service and education in Scotland. He has no positive proposals for Scotland because the only policy that he has has been rejected twice before and will be rejected a third time."
And a piece of trivia to take home with you. Although premanently associated with Islington, in an answer to Labour MP Meg Hillier the Prime Minister revealed he used to live in crime-ridden next-door London Borough Hackney - opposite the Holly Street housing estate, to be exact.
